Script: Emails

Emails posted June 29, 2010.

Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
J: Good, great job.
A: Likewise.

Jake: Wow, this is a very strongly worded all e-mail.
Amir: What?
J: This is a very strongly worded all e-mail.
A: Thank You.
J: Yeah, you know everyone in the company gets these, right?
A: I do. Now, I do.
J: So 120 people just read your email: "Who the f**k stole my headphones? Return them at once or I'll kill you."
A: Pay to play, baby. Pay to play, baby.
J: They're around your neck. You were just listening to music on them.
A: No.
J: You also just said "pay to play," which doesn't make any sense in this con--and here's another all email from you: "The coward thief has emerged from his cave of lies to return my headphones. For a picture of this villainous foe click here." And it's a link to the Rick Roll video.
A: Pay to play!
J: You just wrote another email. I don't know how you're sending them so fast, but this one's a picture of Kayne West and it says, "Hey headphone thief, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but the Hamburgler was the best thief of all time." Nice.
A: Rick roll'd, bitch!
J: I think you're like one step behind me, alright. People are responding to be removed from the thread. So, maybe just--okay, here we go. "Who dares asks to be removed from this thread?"
A: Yeah.
J: You can see, you can see exactly who sends the e-mails.
A: Show yourselves.
J: Don't send that. Just put your hands up, alright. Stop typing. Okay, so you wrote never. Respond verbally, to me.
A: You know what--you're right, I'm just going to start unsending these, one by one.
J: You wrote unsend. You keep sending the word unsend. Unsend, unsend, unsend. Please do not read, I'm begging you. The villainous foe is still among you, just kidding. Stop, just stop it. Okay?
A: Alright, you know what, they want silence? If they want silence, I'm going to give them silence, I'm going to give them radio silence. Not word one from me, not a peep, starting now. Now.
Together: Now. Now.
J: Now. You're sending e-mails. How do you like that? Do you like being ignored? It sucks, doesn't it? Two can play the quiet game.